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Posts for June 2004 (4 entries)

At Safeway deli counter, part two

10th June 2004, late at night | Comments (24)

When you buy anything at the deli counter they always try to recommend something else as well, so if you buy ham they say Can I recommend some cheese to go with that, sir?, or if you buy cheese they say Can I recommend some ham to go with that, sir?…

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At Safeway deli counter

10th June 2004, late at night | Comments (12)

Deli woman
Next Guest please!
Dunstan
*Guest?*
Hello, can I have some of this Honey Roast Ham please?
Deli woman
Sure thing. How much do you want?
Dunstan
Um, all of it, please.
Deli woman
Okay
*Cuts a bit of ham off and gives it to me*
Dunstan
*Slightly confused*…

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Saucer of milk for table three

7th June 2004, late morning | Comments (28)

Three very gay guys at Cafe Flores:

Guy 1
I don’t think I could sleep with him, you know?
Guy 2
Uh huh.
Guy 1
I mean, like, I like him, and he’s really hot and everything, but he’s also kinda trashy, and I don’t need trashy, you know?
Guy 3
Oh, totally.

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A quick note to the man standing beside me in the queue for the toilets last Saturday

1st June 2004, mid-afternoon | Comments (33)

Sir,

I met you only briefly last weekend, but in that short time I ascertained that you are a dedicated follower of the mantra ‘prepare early’. There is no doubt that such a philosophy has its place in many aspects of life; any good tennis coach, for instance, will encourage his or her charges to “get the racquet back early and prepare”; and Domestic Goddess Nigella Lawson is always speaking of the need to prep things ahead of time. It’s common sense, and I applaud you for your dedication to this way of thinking…

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