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Retro: Arizona poems (in jest)

28th March 2004, late evening | Comments (20)

Tucson, Arizona, USA ~ April, 2002.

Two little poems I wrote when in Tucson. Very much in jest.

Arizona

Arizona, to a moaner
Is a dream come true
For the locals and the yokels
Will irri-tate you
But the climate if you time it right
Will just about do
In this funny little town they call Tucson.

In the Desert

In the desert you will find
Folks are apt to lose their mind
Drive a pickup truck and spit before they speak

You’ll see men who drink all day
Name their youngest daughters Ray
And think that all things English are antique

Now it will come to your attention
That these people I have mentioned
Are not signs of evolution at its peak

And it’s true that here reside
Men whose sisters are their brides
And who barely clean their teeth from week to week.

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Comments (20)

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  1. Phil Baines:

    "Name their youngest daughters Ray" - anyone you met out there? Ray, I mean?

    lol.

    Posted 1 hour, 17 minutes after the fact
  2. Phil Baines:

    Hey , I just noticed that your calendar is out of sync. It tells me that today is Saturday.

    Or is it just my mind playing tricks on me, wishing it was saturday and that I didn't have to work tomorrow?

    Posted 1 hour, 19 minutes after the fact
    Inspired: ↓ Dunstan, ↓ Max, ↓ Dunstan
  3. Mark:

    That's not just Arizona...
    The majority of Americans fit that description.
    LOL

    Posted 1 hour, 52 minutes after the fact
    Inspired: ↓ Hans Hyttinen, ↓ Phil Baines
  4. Dunstan:

    Damnit, so it is :o(

    I shall look into it...

    Posted 2 hours, 31 minutes after the fact
    Inspired by: ↑ Phil Baines
    Inspired: ↓ Max
  5. Rahul:

    This would be an excellent example of classic Blue Peter "here's one I prepared earlier" action.

    Posted 3 hours, 4 minutes after the fact
  6. Hans Hyttinen:

    And perhaps your definition of "Majority" is that of "stereotypical?"

    Yup. It says Saturday. Maybe it's telling us all to not go to work tomorrow, to rebel! Headlines: WORLDWIDE WORK DILEMMA; DUNSTAN'S CALENDAR RUINS ECONOMIES

    Posted 4 hours, 52 minutes after the fact
    Inspired by: ↑ Mark
    Inspired: ↓ Mark
  7. Mark:

    Naw, I'm living in america.
    That's how the majority of people are.

    Posted 5 hours, 37 minutes after the fact
    Inspired by: ↑ Hans Hyttinen
  8. Max:

    Weird ... not only is your calendar our of sync, the dates aren't quite right.

    Monday is the 29th right, not the 30th?

    Posted 6 hours, 39 minutes after the fact
    Inspired by: ↑ Phil Baines, ↑ Dunstan
    Inspired: ↓ Phil Baines, ↓ Dunstan
  9. Phil Baines:

    Max, that was exactly my point. :p

    Mark, dude, Dunstan has asked that we don't bash the Merikans. How about that!

    Posted 11 hours, 42 minutes after the fact
    Inspired by: ↑ Mark, ↑ Max
    Inspired: ↓ Max
  10. Max:

    Oops.

    Sorry Phil, I thought you meant it was high-lighting today as the wrong date ... which I now realise it doesn't do at all (at least I don't think it does).

    Colour me a waste of space.

    Posted 11 hours, 48 minutes after the fact
    Inspired by: ↑ Phil Baines
    Inspired: ↓ Phil Baines, ↓ Dunstan
  11. Phil Baines:

    No worries.

    However, that would be a good idea also; if it was to highlight the current day/date.

    Dunstan? Do you hear? lol.

    Posted 11 hours, 53 minutes after the fact
    Inspired by: ↑ Max
    Inspired: ↓ Dunstan, ↓ Max
  12. Dunstan:

    In fact it does highlight the day that the post was made (the day in question sits on a #eee coloured square), but I fear it may be too understated for your monitors to cope with. Subtle colouring is a bugger.

    The actual 'day today' isn't highlighted though. I can't recall why I didn't want to do that?

    Posted 12 hours, 19 minutes after the fact
    Inspired by: ↑ Max, ↑ Phil Baines
    Inspired: ↓ Max, ↓ Phil Baines
  13. Max:

    The day-of-the-post highlight is why I made the mistake. It's definitely obvious enough for me.

    I do think it makes much more sense as is. If the user doesn't know what todays' date is then I say too bad ... you're not supposed to be telling us that sort of thing. Putting the actual post in context of the month makes much more sense to me.

    Posted 13 hours, 8 minutes after the fact
    Inspired by: ↑ Phil Baines, ↑ Dunstan
    Inspired: ↓ Phil Baines
  14. Phil Baines:

    Oh yeah, it doesn't really matter at all that todays date isn't highlighted. I just thought it might be a nice touch. But, then, the whole thing might get a bit cluttered.

    The 'doy-of-post' background colour is just as obviose for me also. Subtle is good.

    All in all, your site, and your work always impresses me. I can't really find anything that I dont like. It's all good. :)

    Posted 13 hours, 23 minutes after the fact
    Inspired by: ↑ Dunstan, ↑ Max
  15. Karen:

    A Response (also in jest):

    I bristle at my country's notoriety;
    We're not all of the "freedom fries" variety
    :-)

    Posted 20 hours, 25 minutes after the fact
    Inspired: ↓ Dunstan
  16. Dunstan:

    Hee hee :o)

    Posted 20 hours, 30 minutes after the fact
    Inspired by: ↑ Karen
  17. Melissa:

    Too funny! I especially like the first one. For some reason it makes me feel like dancing a jig. :)

    I am impressed with your site, by the way. The tutorial on image shadows is great, even though I'm still trying to master it, hehe. :) Have a good week!

    Posted 1 day, 7 hours after the fact
  18. Dunstan:

    Ah, I fixed the calendar, it was due to improper use of PHP's gmmktime().

    Thanks for spotting that, chaps.

    Posted 1 week, 1 day after the fact
    Inspired by: ↑ Phil Baines, ↑ Max
  19. Phil Baines:

    No worries. If I didn't notice it someone else would have.

    So, I don't know PHP much, what does gmmktime() do?

    Posted 1 week, 1 day after the fact
    Inspired: ↓ Dunstan
  20. Dunstan:

    Well, mktime gets (creates) a unix timestamp for a date [1], and gmmktime gets a unix timestamp for a GMT date [2].

    I was using the gmmktime on a date that the server was returning, but the server wasn't in the UK, it was in the US - so my calculations were wrong.

    All part of the fun of moving servers and timezones :o)

    [1] http://uk.php.net/manual/en/function.mktime.php
    [2] http://uk.php.net/manual/en/function.gmmktime.php

    Posted 1 week, 1 day after the fact
    Inspired by: ↑ Phil Baines

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